Rivers
by SarahKiryuValentine
Summary: Alec getting over Magnus. M/M Post CoLS
1. Chapter 1

Everything is owned by Cassandra Clare (except the dialogue of course) This is my first story so please review!

I don't remember how long I sat there in the corner of my bedroom. At first I was distraught, the thought of what just took place scorching my heart. Then came the never ending stream of tears, and the blame. _How could he do this to me? _I thought over and over again. The memories kept flashing in my mind. The kisses, the caresses, the way he was always concerned for my well-being. Just the way he said my name.

_The lights were turned down low, the glow of the city lights casting gentle shadows across our skin. Green eyes met blue, as we just lie in the oversized bed. _

"Alec…"

"_Stop!" _I shout. I'm not sure how long I can take all of this.

I hear hurried footsteps in the distance. They're getting closer. I bury my head in my knees, ignoring the loud knock that follows.

"Alec! Open this door now!" I hear Isabelle yell.

I don't answer.

"Alexander Gideon Lightwood, you will open this door or I will break it down!" she says.

Reluctantly, I stand up. A wave of dizziness washes over me and I lean on the wall beside me for balance. Before making it to the door, I check my reflection. My blue eyes are rimmed with red, tears threatening to fall again. My hair is a tangled black mess. I look just as bad as I feel. _Screw it._ I open the door to see my sister. She just stares for a moment, taking in my appearance, then pulls me into a hug. I don't let go for a long while. Slowly, she backs away, still holding my sides.

"What happened?" she asks softly.

"You know exactly what happened," I answer coldly.

She gives me a glare.

"Don't be an ass. Tell me _how_ it happened," she growls.

I stay quiet. If I told her about Camille…no, I couldn't. She would scold me, tell me what I've already told myself a million times over.

She puts a hand on my cheek and our eyes meet, "Alec, please…talk to me.

"He left me, that's it. He broke up with me and that's the end," I reply hastily.

I jerk away, what's left of my heart shattering at the hurt evident on her face. I slink back into my room, closing the door behind me. I hear her sulk away. I sit on my bed and rub my face. I don't hate him, but I don't know if I could ever forgive him. Perhaps time will change things, but he did make it very clear that he wants nothing to do with us - with me. I feel so many things: hurt, betrayal, confusion. They all jumble around in my head, it's giving me a migraine. Isabelle's footsteps have long faded away, I am alone. Why did this have to happen. First with Jace and now…with him. Maybe I'm not meant to find happiness, no, that sounds stupid. I'm acting like a child. I have to stay strong. Isabelle and Jace deserve that. I'm not going to make any promises, but I'll try to push these feelings aside. We have bigger things then my personal life to be worried about.

More memories fly by. Painful, emotional memories.

Will it ever end? Is it even possible to forget him?

_Magnus Bane_. The name haunts me, heart and soul.


	2. Chapter 2

**So I decided to write some more. I know the chapters are really short, but they probably will be for a while, sorry :( But please enjoy some more depressed Alec :)**

So, I lied to myself. Suppressing these feelings was much more difficult then I thought it would be. I ended up faking smiles for about three days before breaking back down again. I felt bad, worse than bad. The one thing that really sucked the most was that neither of y parents had even bothered asking what was wrong. My father for obvious reasons, but I thought that maybe mom would have at least been a little concerned.

"Hey," I hear Jace's muffled voice from the other side of the door.

In the past week, my room has become my sanctuary, I only leave for bathroom breaks and to eat. Isabelle still comes by to try and talk to me, but I don't want to talk about it.

"_Hey_," He calls again.

I _really_ don't want to deal with Jace right now.

"Would you kindly open the door before I come in there and kick your ass back into reality?" Jace says sweetly.

Rolling my eyes, I get up and walk towards the door. I contemplate going back and leaving Jace to complain and whine outside of my room, but then decide it would be too much of a nuisance.

I open the door and glare at him. He looks perfect, as always.

"It's about damn time," he huffs, walking into the dark room.

"Really Alec, you've been in here all alone in the dark thinking about how much you hate yourself and the world? Isn't that a little cliché, even for you?" he says.

I scoff, "I do not hate myself, and I don't remember inviting you in."

He picks up my new cell phone that's been sitting on the dresser, and jumps on the bed, making himself comfortable. I lean against the wall, wishing death upon him.

"By the Angel, how many times did you call him?" he says, glaring at the screen.

I avoid eye contact, "Well, I didn't exactly call him."

He gives me a strange look, then stands up. Still looking at me, he drops my phone, and stomps on it as hard as he can.

"There," he says satisfied.

I just stare at him dumbfounded.

"You BROKE my PHONE."

Jace shrugged. "Guys don't let other guys keep calling other guys. Okay, that came out wrong. Friends don't let friends keep calling their exes and hanging up. Seriously. You have to stop."

"So you broke my brand new phone? Thanks a lot," I replied angrily.

Jace smiled serenely. "You're welcome."

And with that, Jace left the room.

I was more than angry. I was also pretty sure things couldn't get worse than this. I slammed the door shut and turned the lights back off. I collapsed on my bed again. I couldn't believe this was happening.

I tried to fall asleep, but there was no way that was about to happen. After an hour of restless rolling, I started to think. Maybe Jace was right. I shouldn't be depressed over this. He was my first boyfriend, right? I would have more, it was inevitable. I sighed. I was really tired of all of this. In the morning (or whenever I woke up), I would put on my adult pants and start getting back into the rhythm of everyday life.

Sometimes, I think the world has it out for me.

**Writing this makes me really sad sometimes D'X oh well, it will get more happy later...maybe -insert evil laugh here-**


End file.
